Tuesday, February 26, 2013

BIRTH RAPE - BIRTH TRAUMA - MEN EXPERIENCE BIRTH TRAUMA TOO!



A tale of four births, from the dad's perspective....

Read the full article here

"...[Birth #1] I was there, by Mrs. BWF’s side, looking at her insides during the c-section as they tugged our first baby free. I was there in the hospital room the next three days, sleep deprived from the nurses barging in repeatedly to check Mrs. BWF’s vitals literally every single hour. I was there to watch her cry in frustration as the baby wouldn’t latch on, all because bonding couldn’t happen after the c-section....

[Birth #2]...I was there during Mrs. BWF’s second pregnancy when she had constant low back pain, despite going to a Chiropractor. I was there when she began labor for the first time. Labor continued for the next 54 hours unable to progress because of birth fears never addressed. I was there when the inconvenienced midwife thought Mrs. BWF was lying about the pain, asking me what I thought we should do. I was there when we rushed Mrs. BWF to the hospital and they said she had an infection (of which they never told us what)… and the midwife later admitted she thought Mrs. BWF was making it up (being in active labor).

I was there when the strung-out crackpot OB, on edge and jittery from at least two whole pots of coffee in the last thirty minutes, performed a hack job on my wife as I watched. I was there when my son had a fever and they wouldn’t let me or my wife touch him. I was there, for an hour, talking to him, unable to touch him, while he cried in the incubator until all his vitals settled down. I was there pleading with the nurse to bring him to his mom, so she could hold him for the first time… two hours later. I was there three days later, when the nurse wouldn’t let me carry my own son to the car in his car seat due to hospital protocol. So I ripped the car seat out of her hand, finally fed up, rudely explaining that he was MY son and I would carry him to MY car and buckle him in MYSELF, of which she obliged (my death stare is second to none)....

[Birth #3]...I was there when Mrs. BWF went into labor again (at 43 weeks, six days) and tried to do it unassisted. I was there when she realized she hadn’t prepared for an unassisted birth and that we had to go to the hospital. I was there when, in the hospital, they wouldn’t let Mrs. BWF walk around or squat, again because of hospital protocol. I was there when the rude OB came in and, without introducing himself or saying much at all, gloved up and inserted his fingers in my wife’s vagina without asking, prompting her to scream “GET OUT OF ME!” I was there when he suggested a c-section and she shot him down immediately. I was there to watch her push (finally) and to tell her the baby was crowning. I was also there to watch the vile CNM reach in, pull the baby out, and tear Mrs. BWF so badly that I was stunned to see shredded bloody flesh where it should normally be smooth and pink. I was there to see Mrs. BWF realize they had given her pitocin to “help her uterus contract,” after she had explicitly told them not to...

[Birth #4]...I was there when Mrs. BWF went into labor in our apartment. I was there when she went into transition in the bathtub, slipping off into a peaceful trance. I was there when she got up and stood over the toilet and pushed. I was there to see the baby crown.

I was there, finally, after so much heartache, and stress, and frustration, to catch my own baby.

I was also there to watch Mrs. BWF bond with our baby for the first time without anyone sticking their nose in our business. I was there to watch mom nurse the baby without any trouble. I was there to watch our kids wake up and realize that they had a new sister laying on mom as she sat on the family room couch. I was there to watch our oldest cut the cord.

I was there to finally experience my own healing. After the disappointments, the frustration, the anger, the heartache, the pain, the stress, and fear of another pregnancy/childbirth, I couldn’t help but feel elated, relieved, and healed by Mrs. BWF’s accomplishment.

And to this day, it was the best day of my life."

Emergency C-Sections, Incubators, & Hospital Protocol: Men Experience Birth Trauma, Too
http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/08/28/emergency-c-sections-incubators-hospital-protocol-men-experience-birth-trauma-too/