Please read this article:
It has triggered an enormous activation of understanding within my being.
How many of you have heard of and/or understand the concept of "traumatic repetition" (i.e., the process by which humans tend to re-create the feelings and experiences of unresolved past wounding again and again)? An example of this would be if we were gestated in a womb where our parents were having a toxic, non-loving relationship, we will carry an imprint for dysnctional relationships that will tend to manifest as we grow into adulthood -- i.e, we'll tend to attract and create toxic, non-loving relationships. We re-create the patterns of our original wounding not because we are sadistic, but because we are attempting to reach resolution.
This process of traumatic reptition is inter-generational, such that children tend to carry/inherit the unresolved patterns of their parents -- unless, of course, their parents have become conscious of the patterns and worked toward resolving them. As long as the patterns of wounding remain unconscious and unresolved, they will get passed on from generation to generation and tend be re-enacted and re-created in an effort to bring them to consciousness and resolve them.
OK. Hope you are following me so far and hope also that you will read this entire entry.
My grandmother gave birth to a baby boy that was killed by medical "professionals." They pulled the baby out with forceps using such force and intensity, they gave him a brain hemorrhage and he died.
It is my belief that my grandmother never really worked through her grief about this loss (blaming herself for having a baby that was "too big" rather than acknowledging the brutality of the doctors and the violence that she and her baby were subjected to during this birth.) Since my grandmother never resolved the loss, and my mother was the next baby through my grandmother's haunted womb, my mom carried the memories of unresolved grief related to childbirth,which, as I have just discovered, played itself out when she gave birth to her own children. My mom's "choice" not to breastfeed me (or my sister or brother), was her unconscious way of re-creating the neurobiology of mourning and grief that her mother had experienced in childbirth. Wow! This is so amazing.
My mother, following in the footsteps of her mother, never sought to process or resolve this childbirth grief, so it was passed on to me (as well as her other children).
I re-created the same neurobiology of mourning and grief in childbirth by having several miscarriages (and other tragedies in childbirth) and ultimately giving birth to a full-term, stillborn child.
My sister re-created the grief by "choosing" to have a fully medicalized birth, being induced and c-sectioned, etc. The administering of drugs like pitocin during childbirth -- i.e., synthetic oxytocin -- virtually gaurantees that the neurobiology of love will not activate in a birthing mother since her brain will not produce the natural chemicals of love if/when their synthetic counterparts are introduced into the system. Instead, the neurobiology of grief will activate.
My sister never breastfed her daughter. My brother's children were never breastfed either.
Wow! The lineage of trauma is amazing.
The good news is...... THE BUCK STOPS WITH ME!!!! I am now conscious of the original wounding which makes it possible for the lineage of trauma to end. From here on out, any children born through me will NOT be condemned to suffer the same wounding.
Blessed are the ones who are willing to heal their family lineage.
Anyone interested to read my story, you can find it here:
It would mean alot to me to share it with you as this is part of my healing.
Please check out this quote from the article named above, which triggered so much integration for me.
How utterly amazing.
"....According to a new theory being proposed by University of Albany evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup and his colleagues, the decision to bottle-feed is tantamount, in the mother’s psyche, to mourning the loss of the child. At least, that’s how a woman’s body seems to respond to the absence of a suckling infant at its breasts in the wake of a successful childbirth. In a soon-to-be-published article in Medical Hypotheses, the authors argue that bottle-feeding simulates the unsettling ancestral condition of an infant’s death:
Opting not to breastfeed precludes and/or brings all of the processes involved in lactation to a halt. For most of human evolution the absence or early cessation of breastfeeding would have been occasioned by miscarriage, loss, or death of a child. We contend, therefore, that at the level of her basic biology a mother’s decision to bottle feed unknowingly simulates child loss...'
Here's another article on this topic:
"Opting not to breastfeed precludes and/or brings all of the processes involved in lactation to a halt. For most of human evolution the absence or early cessation of breastfeeding would have been occasioned by the miscarriage, loss, or death of a child. We contend, therefore, that at the level of her basic biology a mother’s decision to bottle feed unknowingly simulates child loss. The death of a child is a well documented trigger for profound parental grief and depression, and evidence shows that mothers tend to be more affected than fathers. Suarez and Gallup theorize that depression in response to the death of a child may be an adaptive mechanism that functions to (1) punish instances of inappropriate parenting or neglect, and (2) trigger social and psychological support from close friends and relatives during the particularly difficult period following the loss of an infant (see also. Because bottle feeding simulates child loss at a physiological level it may also play an important role in postpartum depression. Consistent with this analysis, there is growing evidence that bottle feeding is a significant risk factor for postpartum depression. Some claim that breastfeeding can reduce the incidence of postpartum depression by as much as 50%. Additional evidence in support of our hypothesis comes from the fact that post- partum depression is not an uncommon response to weaning. Because weaning results in the cessation of milk production in much the same way that bottle feeding does, weaning/involution can also be thought of as mimicking child loss. We recently completed a study of over 50 mothers recruited through local pediatric offices at 4–6 weeks postpartum. Consistent with previous reports, we found that those who bottle fed their babies scored significantly higher on the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale than those engaged in breastfeeding. The increased risk of depression among mothers who relied on bottle feeding held true even after we controlled for such things as age, education, income, and the mother’s relationship with her current partner."
Bottle feeding simulates child loss: Postpartum depression and evolutionary medicine